I am vain. This is not a secret. Not self-absorbed or narcissistic… Just slightly obsessive. After all, my life’s greatest passions revolve around aesthetics, and that sensibility extends itself to the manipulation of my appearance as a vehicle for self-expression.
JK, obviously. I know there’s no way to rationalize this. I just like pretty things in shiny packages that promise to effectively transform me into a Disney princess, or a unicorn, or something more awesome than myself. I’m so easily tempted by these delusions, it’s kind of embarrassing. Like, if you were to tell me that a magical Japanese sponge could slough years of stress and hardship from my weathered 25-year-old face… Um, hey, go get my purse? Take my credit card, it’s in my wallet. Just take it, seriously.
In short, the internet told me to buy this, so I did: